My teacher asked a curious question to the class today.
"Is there anyone here who has bought something new this week? Something you have never bought before?"
In a class of 100 people, three people said yes.
3% of our classroom has tried something new this week.
To me that's not only odd, but kind of sad.
Are we all so mechanized in our daily routines that we walk through our waking hours with the same new items, bought for the same old reasons and fighting over the same old things as we ever have?
I think I'm hitting a certain point in my life where I'm realizing that everything in my life seems to be settling on some kind of path that's leading me... somewhere.
I wish I could more specific then that, but everyday things are becoming more mechanical, more robotic, more bland...
I think I need to go buy something I've never bought before. Make my life more exciting... Like a blue freezie...
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Watching Doug Work
Well I'm back at the loft where Dark Rising was filmed. And it's nice. A part of me really enjoys coming here. It's a feeling very similar to coming home, or going back to a place with fond memories with a few of people who made those memories so fond. Sometimes, when life is getting a little bit stressful, returning to the good moments is one of the best things you can do.
Anyway, I'm writing my essay for British Literature, Andrew is slowing putting the pieces of Dark Rising together, and Doug is building a digital car.
I don't know how he does it, but this man is like superman. I'm serious, he does everything.
It's kind of awesome being able just to sit as the sounds of Brigitte and Katherine fill the background. And lots of clicking.
The three of us aren't talking much, but it's a comfortable silence. And in their case, a far more stressful one then in mine.
In two hours, I leave to go teach yoga and hip hop at the studio tonight.
I don't know how Doug does it. He's literally rotating a view around close to 200 times, all for one microsecond of cgi work that, if it's done well, no one will notice. Kind of mind blowing in it's own way.
Anyway, this is a random post about nothing. But I found the moment worth cherishing.
Anyway, I'm writing my essay for British Literature, Andrew is slowing putting the pieces of Dark Rising together, and Doug is building a digital car.
I don't know how he does it, but this man is like superman. I'm serious, he does everything.
It's kind of awesome being able just to sit as the sounds of Brigitte and Katherine fill the background. And lots of clicking.
The three of us aren't talking much, but it's a comfortable silence. And in their case, a far more stressful one then in mine.
In two hours, I leave to go teach yoga and hip hop at the studio tonight.
I don't know how Doug does it. He's literally rotating a view around close to 200 times, all for one microsecond of cgi work that, if it's done well, no one will notice. Kind of mind blowing in it's own way.
Anyway, this is a random post about nothing. But I found the moment worth cherishing.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Movies and Me
I want this. I really, really want this.
I found a movie today and it really resonated with me. It was the story of the adolescence I wish I'd had. Everything about it was beautiful, poignant and moving. The story of a down on his luck man taking care of his alcoholic sister, a drugged out father and his five year old nephew who finds love and meaning. All the in the process of an hour and a half.
It was a special movie, and it really got.
Note- I'm not saying the name of the movie because that's not important. It's the resonance it had on me. It was the story of a life I wish I could have lived. Movies should inspire you, but for me, that inspiration is a double edged sword.
Sure, movies are great. They're wonderful at communicating entertainment, relationships, fantasy... Anything you want to do you can do it on screen now... In 3D no less, but when I watch movies I feel a pain in the lowest bowels of my soul.
I see a movie and think, "I want to do that. I want this life. I want to sink my teeth into my next part. I want to do more. I must do more..."
I couldn't be more proud of the work I've done on Dark Rising, and I've had so much fun doing the shoots and getting to know so many excellent people... But I'm not entirely satisfied. I've become a monster, and I can't wait to sink my teeth into my next part.
Maybe that's the reason why I feel like doing three plays this spring.
Yes three plays.
I'm so psyched to do them too. It's going to be great!
But still... a part of me is writhing on the inside. I just want to do movies. Forever. And never quit. And never not be working...
Is that so wrong?
I want to do it all while I'm still young and capable.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The problem with Woman

Woman- The play that's killing me softly
So me being all ambitious and such decided that I was going to write a play based on the Lysistrata and have it done by January.
What was I thinking?
I'm writing this play and am constantly thinking it's not good enough. I'm not exploring the characters enough. I don't have enough songs. The characters are flat and not getting the breadth and dimension they so deserve.
That being said, I can't stop writing it otherwise I'll be labeled a quitter by... Myself. And that's just not cool...
Is it?
Oh please tell me it's cool to quit. That would be AWESOME.
I mean, I got this.
One play coming right up.
Hope my leading lady can memorize lines like no ones business...
Labels:
north.light theatre,
woman,
writing
Friday, December 18, 2009
Dark Rising: The savage tales of Matti McLean
I was fine until I read Doug's blog, then the horrible, horrible truth hit me all at once like a snowball filled with delicious rocks.
It's almost over.
My first major tv AND movie role, (Ironically the same part) is almost done, and that is just incredibly depressing.
The whole cast and crew of Dark Rising has been such a huge, HUGE blessing to me and what they've allowed me to do (get away with) is really mind blowing. For instance, I highly doubt many directors would let you write scenes for your character, much less write an entire episode. Andrew has been awesome, and I've realized how quickly I've grown too close to the cast and the crew of this series. Everyday on set has been a pleasure and it's just been wonderful.
Now I guess I just have to keep writing eh?
Dark Rising: The Savage Tales of Summer Vale is due to begin airing in June, (June really? I mean there IS a halloween and Christmas episode... ANYWAY...) and the movie Dark Rising 2: Summer Strikes Back is due out in September.
Trust me when I say I'll be giving you regular updates. Exciting isn't it? :)
Labels:
Dark Rising,
Matti McLean,
thebigshibam
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
So I have to write this play for January... but I have not wrote it yet.
Why?
That is a good question.
My life has gone from absurdly busy to completely open.
And suddenly I'm finding it hard to do anything.
Why is it that the more stuff you have to do, the more stuff you feel you can get done?
Or is that just me?
Maybe?
I'm just a little... lost?
Woman:
It's going to be a play about... women. That's all I got so far.
Well I'm lying again, but trust me, this story is going to be quite a bit more interesting then even I'm giving it credit for!
I hope...
We shall see.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Dark Rising Truth
If you haven't seen it, I have to recommend it to you. Not because it's the best movie ever made. Not because Brigitte is hot on the cover (yes Andrew, I said it) Not because of any superficial reason really...
But because of these people, I am acting again.
To prove how long it's been since I posted regularly on this perhaps I should take a step back.
Two summers ago- I moved to Toronto to try to act. In the process, the agency I was with fell apart, the only acting job I found was with a small home movie and I went broke by working one shift a week at EB Games. (If that)
In all I came back home deciding to push the idea of acting out of my mind and just focus on going back to school. It was good for the first year, but I still missed acting.
As a result I went and tried to get two plays that I wrote going, but both fell apart before we could really get the shows on the road. Feeling defeated, agitated and frustrated I decided to just put theatre out of sight and out of mind.
However, this fall everything changed.
I actually began to work through a couple things. I was feeling frustrated with school, which unfortunately hasn't dissipated fully, although it has improved. Something I must talk about next time. Remind me? But after some small things, (and not so small things like Love*Fool), I found a little advertisement for an audition.
Thinking nothing of it, I auditioned for a movie called Dark Rising 2: Summer Strikes Back.
And they liked me.
I mean they REALLY liked me.
The coolest thing is they liked me enough to hire me. But not only that. They liked me enough to help me get my full ACTRA (The Canadian Screen Union)
They've taught me so much, given me more, and really fueled the fire for my acting again. It's pretty wicked awesome cool.
I can't wait to share more with y'all but needless to say things are looking up. Which is just awesome.
Later everyone!
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