Tuesday, March 3, 2009

What's the point? Seriously. Lately I've been feeling so much "What's the point" I've forgotten that at one point, I had one.
I took art class because I've always enjoyed it and I had hoped it would help me unwind from my other, more foreign and stressful classes. Sadly this is not the case. Instead I'm stuck with getting crappy grades on projects that I like because I'm not doing them the way she wants me to. It's frustrating. I worked so hard on a poster only to get slapped in the face with a 65. Now I'm wondering what's the point in even trying if all I'm going to get from here on in is mediocre at best.
And I feel this way about all my classes. I mean I have a theatre degree already, why do I feel the need to come back and torment myself with something I really don't need? It's frustrating.
On top of this, I'm finding out all of this from the other side of the world. I'm still in India about to embark on the trip back to Canada... and the experience over here has just been so inexplicably amazing. I've learned so much about charity, and beauty and even myself. This whole trip has been wonderful. I've enjoyed literally everything... and now I have to go back... Back to blockbuster. Back to school. Back to futility and drowning in mediocrity. Back to the thousand and one rejection letters from book houses and literary agents. Back to the crumbling foundations of what were once my hopes and dreams. It takes a toll on a man.
I guess this is when I figure out just how strong of a man I truly am. Aside from that I have to put up with a 8 hour flight to frankfurt and that should be bad enough without having to have another 8 hour flight to Toronto directly after.
Sigh... I don't know what to do.
Why are my posts always so emo?
Anyway, I'll figure this school thing out.
On brighter news, I'm finding my own place! My parents sold the house so I'm on the prowl for a new place. It'll be nice being out on my own again. And not nice. But I'm hoping for good things.