Watching Doug Work

Well I'm back at the loft where Dark Rising was filmed. And it's nice. A part of me really enjoys coming here. It's a feeling very similar to coming home, or going back to a place with fond memories with a few of people who made those memories so fond. Sometimes, when life is getting a little bit stressful, returning to the good moments is one of the best things you can do.
Anyway, I'm writing my essay for British Literature, Andrew is slowing putting the pieces of Dark Rising together, and Doug is building a digital car.
I don't know how he does it, but this man is like superman. I'm serious, he does everything.
It's kind of awesome being able just to sit as the sounds of Brigitte and Katherine fill the background. And lots of clicking.
The three of us aren't talking much, but it's a comfortable silence. And in their case, a far more stressful one then in mine.
In two hours, I leave to go teach yoga and hip hop at the studio tonight.
I don't know how Doug does it. He's literally rotating a view around close to 200 times, all for one microsecond of cgi work that, if it's done well, no one will notice. Kind of mind blowing in it's own way.
Anyway, this is a random post about nothing. But I found the moment worth cherishing.

Movies and Me

I want this. I really, really want this.

I found a movie today and it really resonated with me. It was the story of the adolescence I wish I'd had. Everything about it was beautiful, poignant and moving. The story of a down on his luck man taking care of his alcoholic sister, a drugged out father and his five year old nephew who finds love and meaning. All the in the process of an hour and a half.

It was a special movie, and it really got.

Note- I'm not saying the name of the movie because that's not important. It's the resonance it had on me. It was the story of a life I wish I could have lived. Movies should inspire you, but for me, that inspiration is a double edged sword.

Sure, movies are great. They're wonderful at communicating entertainment, relationships, fantasy... Anything you want to do you can do it on screen now... In 3D no less, but when I watch movies I feel a pain in the lowest bowels of my soul.

I see a movie and think, "I want to do that. I want this life. I want to sink my teeth into my next part. I want to do more. I must do more..."

I couldn't be more proud of the work I've done on Dark Rising, and I've had so much fun doing the shoots and getting to know so many excellent people... But I'm not entirely satisfied. I've become a monster, and I can't wait to sink my teeth into my next part.

Maybe that's the reason why I feel like doing three plays this spring.

Yes three plays.

I'm so psyched to do them too. It's going to be great!

But still... a part of me is writhing on the inside. I just want to do movies. Forever. And never quit. And never not be working...

Is that so wrong?

I want to do it all while I'm still young and capable.