Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Movies and Me

I want this. I really, really want this.
I found a movie today and it really resonated with me. It was the story of the adolescence I wish I'd had. Everything about it was beautiful, poignant and moving. The story of a down on his luck man taking care of his alcoholic sister, a drugged out father and his five year old nephew who finds love and meaning. All the in the process of an hour and a half.
It was a special movie, and it really got.
Note- I'm not saying the name of the movie because that's not important. It's the resonance it had on me. It was the story of a life I wish I could have lived. Movies should inspire you, but for me, that inspiration is a double edged sword.
Sure, movies are great. They're wonderful at communicating entertainment, relationships, fantasy... Anything you want to do you can do it on screen now... In 3D no less, but when I watch movies I feel a pain in the lowest bowels of my soul.
I see a movie and think, "I want to do that. I want this life. I want to sink my teeth into my next part. I want to do more. I must do more..."
I couldn't be more proud of the work I've done on Dark Rising, and I've had so much fun doing the shoots and getting to know so many excellent people... But I'm not entirely satisfied. I've become a monster, and I can't wait to sink my teeth into my next part.
Maybe that's the reason why I feel like doing three plays this spring.
Yes three plays.
I'm so psyched to do them too. It's going to be great!
But still... a part of me is writhing on the inside. I just want to do movies. Forever. And never quit. And never not be working...
Is that so wrong?
I want to do it all while I'm still young and capable.

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