What's the best thing about having a mac?
It's not a PC.

Shouldn't that be enough?
FACT: The people who make mac's are singlehandedly responsible for the iPod, the iPhone and the lesser known iRack.
FACT: Bill gates is a dork.
FACT: We all love those "I'm a mac, I'm a PC" commercials SOOOO MUCH! (So much in fact that PC's are running ads now to try to change their image. "I'm a PC"? Really? You're that desperate that you need to rip off your competitors marketing campaign with an inferior and more boring version.
You know what's so great about those mac commercials. They all make a point. Windows is slow. Window's crashes. Windows comes with a million and one trial soft ware programs already installed which clutters the hard drive. Window's made VISTA (and does anyone like VISTA?)

Now I'm not saying that PC's are terrible. (I'm implying it. There's a difference.) They play games. Games are good. I can approve of gamers getting a PC. Everyone else who doesn't play games? Why do you still have it? All you do is go online, check email and facebook, write up reports and go on solitaire. All of which can be done on a MAC. So why are they considered inferior?

FACT: Mac's work.
FACT: They look sexy.

If my macbook was a woman I'd date it. I'd marry it and we'd have horrible, computerized techno children. It'd be awesome. I'd name one Robo cop, another HAL and the other Jane.

BTW I should totally rip my bare naked ladies cd to my computer. I have at least thirty cds that need to get burned onto here... which leads me to my one problem with my mac.

When burning, it's REALLY LOUD. LIKE FREAKISHLY LOUD. THINGS SHOULD NEVER BE AS LOUD AS IT IS AS IT'S BURNING. IT'S SCARY.

I think we're all at that point where you can feel your life kind of coming to a head. You walk through your days tired and listless. Classes are boring and the stress of life is beginning to weigh heavily on your shoulders.
Doesn't it suck?
I wish I had Kylie here right now to cheer me up.
Oh Wait!




There she is. The slut's alive and well and living in Paris. With Jacques Brel. (obscure musical reference. I forgive you for not understanding it)

So I got to feel almost important on you tube for a day. I was the 44th most watched - Guru - Canada for one day. That was exciting! Almost like being the worlds tallest midget. for one day.
I imagine that could be a good quality to have. Being the worlds tallest midget could indeed be a good thing. I wonder if that would qualify as a legitimate world record.

Anyway, I'm still training and such. Still trying to find someone to help me out with technique and stuff :) Slowly but surely things are coming together.

OMGOMGOMGOMG

Dude... is it wrong that I should be so excited that I'm the 79th most viewed (today) - Gurus - Canada?
That's kind of cool! Right? right?...
I don't care I'm excited!!

*update* I actually ended up getting up to the 22nd most viewed, so that was exciting.

For those who want to help me out :)

www.youtube.com/user/thebigshibam

The video...

worse then a Tommy Lee sex tape

So the Thought Shifts

So lately my thoughts have been shifting from Reality TV to commercials.
How do they effect us?
Like really, we can ignore them, laugh at them, make fun of them... but the fact is they effect us. They effect us in ways that are both insidious and completely unconscious.
I like Mac's. Anyone with a pc is mentally inferior and anyone who hates mac's is a fascist. Honestly. I'm not kidding with this. But could my love for Mac's stem from their superior commercials?
Well, that's a bad choice. We all know Mac's are superior in every way, shape and form.
And if you don't agree... FASCIST!

Hey, have you ever played Nazi interrogator?
LIAR!

But seriously... am I reaching for that Axe because I've programmed to? Or is it my superior nose?
I always like to think that I'm buying something because it's a good price, it's a good quality, and to the best of my knowledge... it's what I want. Is that such a bad thing?

So apparently I accidentally lied. I went into this week with every intention of writing every day. Didn't happen.
Thank god NaNo is coming up soon. I'm definitely looking forward to it this year. It's going to be awesome! I have my story planned out, and I even have a bunch of new people who are looking forward to doing this with me.
Anyway this is just a quickee right now, as I work in a few hours and would prefer some sleep before I pass out. So a regular blog tomorrow. (Promise)

And to tide you over:

So... I'm writing again.
And for some completely inexplicable reason, I'm writing my books again.

Two years ago I wrote a book called the Invisible War. It was set up to be the first in a proposed trilogy revolving around a man and his struggle for freedom in a totalitarian society.

One and a half years ago now, I published it via self-publishing through a company called iUniverse, and this was the outcome :

At first it was wonderful. I had a book published! This is great! I'm so happy about everything!

And then it happened. I read the final copy of the book only to discover a mess of sentence fragments, bad editing and a botched book.

Few people probably know what I'm feeling. When you're creative, and you've worked so hard on something only to have the item torn asunder is disappointing to say the least. The amazing thing is, that despite having a book that was by all means a failure (I've sold less then forty copies to date, and the book has been read a total of 3 times by 3 people) it's not over.

Just recently I've actually picked up the steam and decided to finish the trilogy. If only for myself, to prove to myself that, yes, I can do this. Yes I can finish a trilogy that both entertains and is a huge commercial success. Who knows. Maybe my next book might even break 100 copies!

I want to get published. This is my goal. My dream is to be able to write for a living, and at least being at Nip is helping me to get some foot in some door and out of my own mouth. So if nothing else comes of being back at school, at least I'll be able to say I have another two manuscripts under my belt.

Weekly Recommendations

Don't Mess with the Zohan- * * *
Funny. but not much else. Good for a laugh if you're laugh starved. Might I recommend instead of this, indulge yourself in The Baker, Death at a Funeral or a stronger Sandler movie. If you're Sandler starved, it's worth a rent. But I must suggest if you're not a Sandler addict, it's skippable.

Anamorph - * * * .5
Surprisingly decent. Crime drama along the lines of Twisted, Taking Lives and Untraceable. Surprisingly disturbing images, but I was fading halfway through. The story? It looked good. Perhaps it was. I'll find out once I'm able to re-rent it.

The Happening- Unknown
We'll talk.

The Dick-tionary

It's about time people started using words that may seem unfamiliar and scary. What's the newest and most cutting edge slang term going around? How should I know? I made up my own.

Wondersnatch - The epitome of the sarcastic wonderful. Also doubles as a sexual innuendo for... just about anything actually.

Menocidal - What a women becomes during those oh so special years. Take for instance, when your mother wakes you up at 5 am yelling because the dog stole her shoe so she makes everyone in the house search every room, until thirty minutes later you find the shoe. In the front hall. Exactly where it should have been.

Animanical- The feeling of nostalgia unique to those who can correctly sing the entire theme song of the Animaniacs.

This concludes this issue of the DICK tionary. Tune in next week for more hip slang that all them young folks be quoting.

Yo

Just a note for the meantime : 

Enjoy the blog

SYTYCD CANADon't

Let me get something off my chest. I had no intention of watching So You Think You Can Dance Canada. I didn't want to watch it based simply off the fact that they rejected me. Is that selfish? Yes. But it's legitimate. 

When you're rejected from any audition situation, it's like a slap to the face. Whether it's a school play, or whether it's a national reality, talent based tv show. Unfortunately, it's a feeling I'm well familiar with. 

I auditioned for SYTYCD CAN this summer with my good friend Heather. And failed miserably. In front of a full audience of people who were better dancers then I was, and who had better bodies then I did. 

It's a trip. 

So seeing a friend make it so far on the show, only to get cut right before the top twenty, it opens up a wound. 

Watching the show today was oddly terrifying. It was like being back in that theatre, with the thousands of eyes peering down on you. It's stressful, and I don't even know why. Well I didn't until my friend looked over and said, "Maybe it's post traumatic stress"... and I realized, that's probably exactly what it is. Weird isn't it? 

As for next year: I'm wondering if I even have the strength to do it again. Especially after watching the hoops you have to jump through after the initial audition. I don't care about being on the show. But just once, I'd like to get a call back. That would be great. 

So I go back to my previous posts on this topic: I know I can dance. I don't need some show to tell me I'm the best in the country (That would be great mind you) But as of right now, they can head out. I got school. I got new friends and a horrible job that I despise. So that part could improve. 

On the bright side, I did get back on stage for my first audition I've done in years (The last being for the play the ends of the earth) with SOS last night, and I think things went well. Being back on stage is refreshing. It's almost like a little part of me is coming back to life again. I'm definitely looking forward to that. Maybe my theatre dream isn't dead yet.