Let me get something off my chest. I had no intention of watching So You Think You Can Dance Canada. I didn't want to watch it based simply off the fact that they rejected me. Is that selfish? Yes. But it's legitimate.
When you're rejected from any audition situation, it's like a slap to the face. Whether it's a school play, or whether it's a national reality, talent based tv show. Unfortunately, it's a feeling I'm well familiar with.
I auditioned for SYTYCD CAN this summer with my good friend Heather. And failed miserably. In front of a full audience of people who were better dancers then I was, and who had better bodies then I did.
It's a trip.
So seeing a friend make it so far on the show, only to get cut right before the top twenty, it opens up a wound.
Watching the show today was oddly terrifying. It was like being back in that theatre, with the thousands of eyes peering down on you. It's stressful, and I don't even know why. Well I didn't until my friend looked over and said, "Maybe it's post traumatic stress"... and I realized, that's probably exactly what it is. Weird isn't it?
As for next year: I'm wondering if I even have the strength to do it again. Especially after watching the hoops you have to jump through after the initial audition. I don't care about being on the show. But just once, I'd like to get a call back. That would be great.
So I go back to my previous posts on this topic: I know I can dance. I don't need some show to tell me I'm the best in the country (That would be great mind you) But as of right now, they can head out. I got school. I got new friends and a horrible job that I despise. So that part could improve.
On the bright side, I did get back on stage for my first audition I've done in years (The last being for the play the ends of the earth) with SOS last night, and I think things went well. Being back on stage is refreshing. It's almost like a little part of me is coming back to life again. I'm definitely looking forward to that. Maybe my theatre dream isn't dead yet.