I'm legitimately scared. This whole recession bordering on depression is... well... depressing. How can something so bad have gone on so long? Who can we really blame? I'd like to blame this all on Bush, but can we really? If anyone I'd say the blame falls on the corporations and the banks for making bad decisions. There is not much of a happy ending to that story. 

What good is saving up your money if any second the bank could dissolve leaving your finances swimming in a pond somewhere. It's really not very smart. 

I like to pretend I'm all knowing and good at all this political and social mumbo jumbo, but it's more accurate to say I haven't the foggiest what's really going on. 

That is all I have to say at this time. I'm scared. I'm scared that when I get a job, i'll get laid off. Or that when I move to Toronto, there'll be no room. 

There's really something to these old movies. Back when movies has a point and a moral to the story. We're watching Dragon heart right now. The one with Sean Connery and Dennis Quaid. It's quite interesting how far we've come in terms of special effects. Even the textures of the CGI dragon... it's kind of shocking in a way. How much better can graphics get? Or will they ever get any better? What will happen to the movie industry if the economy goes bye-bye? 

I have no idea. Still scared. 

Sigh... Now I wonder what I want to do with me life. I always wanted to be an actor or writer... but now... I really don't know. 

Wanted: Wanted

It's been a long time since there was a really good movie about justice. And let me tell you, it's rather fascinating when a good justice movie comes along. 

Some might argue the Punisher as a good justice movie, but I disagree. It's a good movie, but the violence never truly outweighs the justice element.

Another is Fight Club, but that's been so long ago that it's status has decreased a little bit. That's not to say this movie does not rock, because it does. But I don't know if you can really justify it as a justice themed movie. 

More recently there are the Jodie Foster movies - The Brave One and Flight plan. Both very good. But the Brave One is just way too dramatic. It's a fascinating movie, but I don't know if it's justice in question, or if it's just one womans revenge story. 

This brings me to the real reason - 

It's Wanted. 

If you want a movie that's true to form as far as a movie where justice is truly served, this one tops the list. It's entertaining, has action scenes that are sexy as all Kylie, and it truly rocks. I'm quite impressed with this movie if you can't tell. 

I can't recommend it enough. It's that good. 

But if you don't like action or violence I'd avoid it. My dad actually came into the tv room and asked me what the hell I was watching. It's a touch excessive, but if you can forgive it at times, you'll find something to dig. 

Although Kayla didn't like it. Maybe I'm breathing too much into this but I enjoyed it. 

When diva throws a fit

OK. Top model ended. And might I be the forty-thousandth to say :
WORST.
CYCLE.
EVER.
Honestly. No drama, nothing exciting. No really amazing characters. Stale people. Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.

And the topper?
At the end of every season Tyra poses with her top model. This year?

Here is McKee in her victory picture:

Notice anything?
Firs
Beautiful actually. As much as I disliked this cycle, and often disliked McKee due to boredom, I find she didn't have a very likable personality. BUT what I'm getting at is this. This is her victory pose with Tyra. TYRA has always posed with the winner of the cycle (with the exception of Adrienne of course). Look through them. Yoanna, Eva, Naima.. all of them. Even Whitney!
This year?

She has herself digitally inserted behind McKee. Is that fair? Is that not the most rediculous thing you've ever seen? 

Tyra is so egotistical that she's not even posing with the winner of the cycle anymore. Come on, we all know she doesn't look like that anymore. Tyra is a trainwreck in slow motion. In real time. 

GOD how this woman is driving me nuts. Can she just go away for a while?

I hate to be THAT person

I hate to say it, and be THAT person. The person who has to post his problems online, but right now I just have to let it out. I don't really care, it's not like anyone actually reads this.
I'm going to pop soon. I feel like such a failure. And the worst part is I don't even know why.
School is stressful. Why'd I decide to do it again?

What's the best thing about having a mac?
It's not a PC.

Shouldn't that be enough?
FACT: The people who make mac's are singlehandedly responsible for the iPod, the iPhone and the lesser known iRack.
FACT: Bill gates is a dork.
FACT: We all love those "I'm a mac, I'm a PC" commercials SOOOO MUCH! (So much in fact that PC's are running ads now to try to change their image. "I'm a PC"? Really? You're that desperate that you need to rip off your competitors marketing campaign with an inferior and more boring version.
You know what's so great about those mac commercials. They all make a point. Windows is slow. Window's crashes. Windows comes with a million and one trial soft ware programs already installed which clutters the hard drive. Window's made VISTA (and does anyone like VISTA?)

Now I'm not saying that PC's are terrible. (I'm implying it. There's a difference.) They play games. Games are good. I can approve of gamers getting a PC. Everyone else who doesn't play games? Why do you still have it? All you do is go online, check email and facebook, write up reports and go on solitaire. All of which can be done on a MAC. So why are they considered inferior?

FACT: Mac's work.
FACT: They look sexy.

If my macbook was a woman I'd date it. I'd marry it and we'd have horrible, computerized techno children. It'd be awesome. I'd name one Robo cop, another HAL and the other Jane.

BTW I should totally rip my bare naked ladies cd to my computer. I have at least thirty cds that need to get burned onto here... which leads me to my one problem with my mac.

When burning, it's REALLY LOUD. LIKE FREAKISHLY LOUD. THINGS SHOULD NEVER BE AS LOUD AS IT IS AS IT'S BURNING. IT'S SCARY.

I think we're all at that point where you can feel your life kind of coming to a head. You walk through your days tired and listless. Classes are boring and the stress of life is beginning to weigh heavily on your shoulders.
Doesn't it suck?
I wish I had Kylie here right now to cheer me up.
Oh Wait!




There she is. The slut's alive and well and living in Paris. With Jacques Brel. (obscure musical reference. I forgive you for not understanding it)

So I got to feel almost important on you tube for a day. I was the 44th most watched - Guru - Canada for one day. That was exciting! Almost like being the worlds tallest midget. for one day.
I imagine that could be a good quality to have. Being the worlds tallest midget could indeed be a good thing. I wonder if that would qualify as a legitimate world record.

Anyway, I'm still training and such. Still trying to find someone to help me out with technique and stuff :) Slowly but surely things are coming together.

OMGOMGOMGOMG

Dude... is it wrong that I should be so excited that I'm the 79th most viewed (today) - Gurus - Canada?
That's kind of cool! Right? right?...
I don't care I'm excited!!

*update* I actually ended up getting up to the 22nd most viewed, so that was exciting.

For those who want to help me out :)

www.youtube.com/user/thebigshibam

The video...

worse then a Tommy Lee sex tape

So the Thought Shifts

So lately my thoughts have been shifting from Reality TV to commercials.
How do they effect us?
Like really, we can ignore them, laugh at them, make fun of them... but the fact is they effect us. They effect us in ways that are both insidious and completely unconscious.
I like Mac's. Anyone with a pc is mentally inferior and anyone who hates mac's is a fascist. Honestly. I'm not kidding with this. But could my love for Mac's stem from their superior commercials?
Well, that's a bad choice. We all know Mac's are superior in every way, shape and form.
And if you don't agree... FASCIST!

Hey, have you ever played Nazi interrogator?
LIAR!

But seriously... am I reaching for that Axe because I've programmed to? Or is it my superior nose?
I always like to think that I'm buying something because it's a good price, it's a good quality, and to the best of my knowledge... it's what I want. Is that such a bad thing?

So apparently I accidentally lied. I went into this week with every intention of writing every day. Didn't happen.
Thank god NaNo is coming up soon. I'm definitely looking forward to it this year. It's going to be awesome! I have my story planned out, and I even have a bunch of new people who are looking forward to doing this with me.
Anyway this is just a quickee right now, as I work in a few hours and would prefer some sleep before I pass out. So a regular blog tomorrow. (Promise)

And to tide you over:

So... I'm writing again.
And for some completely inexplicable reason, I'm writing my books again.

Two years ago I wrote a book called the Invisible War. It was set up to be the first in a proposed trilogy revolving around a man and his struggle for freedom in a totalitarian society.

One and a half years ago now, I published it via self-publishing through a company called iUniverse, and this was the outcome :

At first it was wonderful. I had a book published! This is great! I'm so happy about everything!

And then it happened. I read the final copy of the book only to discover a mess of sentence fragments, bad editing and a botched book.

Few people probably know what I'm feeling. When you're creative, and you've worked so hard on something only to have the item torn asunder is disappointing to say the least. The amazing thing is, that despite having a book that was by all means a failure (I've sold less then forty copies to date, and the book has been read a total of 3 times by 3 people) it's not over.

Just recently I've actually picked up the steam and decided to finish the trilogy. If only for myself, to prove to myself that, yes, I can do this. Yes I can finish a trilogy that both entertains and is a huge commercial success. Who knows. Maybe my next book might even break 100 copies!

I want to get published. This is my goal. My dream is to be able to write for a living, and at least being at Nip is helping me to get some foot in some door and out of my own mouth. So if nothing else comes of being back at school, at least I'll be able to say I have another two manuscripts under my belt.

Weekly Recommendations

Don't Mess with the Zohan- * * *
Funny. but not much else. Good for a laugh if you're laugh starved. Might I recommend instead of this, indulge yourself in The Baker, Death at a Funeral or a stronger Sandler movie. If you're Sandler starved, it's worth a rent. But I must suggest if you're not a Sandler addict, it's skippable.

Anamorph - * * * .5
Surprisingly decent. Crime drama along the lines of Twisted, Taking Lives and Untraceable. Surprisingly disturbing images, but I was fading halfway through. The story? It looked good. Perhaps it was. I'll find out once I'm able to re-rent it.

The Happening- Unknown
We'll talk.

The Dick-tionary

It's about time people started using words that may seem unfamiliar and scary. What's the newest and most cutting edge slang term going around? How should I know? I made up my own.

Wondersnatch - The epitome of the sarcastic wonderful. Also doubles as a sexual innuendo for... just about anything actually.

Menocidal - What a women becomes during those oh so special years. Take for instance, when your mother wakes you up at 5 am yelling because the dog stole her shoe so she makes everyone in the house search every room, until thirty minutes later you find the shoe. In the front hall. Exactly where it should have been.

Animanical- The feeling of nostalgia unique to those who can correctly sing the entire theme song of the Animaniacs.

This concludes this issue of the DICK tionary. Tune in next week for more hip slang that all them young folks be quoting.

Yo

Just a note for the meantime : 

Enjoy the blog

SYTYCD CANADon't

Let me get something off my chest. I had no intention of watching So You Think You Can Dance Canada. I didn't want to watch it based simply off the fact that they rejected me. Is that selfish? Yes. But it's legitimate. 

When you're rejected from any audition situation, it's like a slap to the face. Whether it's a school play, or whether it's a national reality, talent based tv show. Unfortunately, it's a feeling I'm well familiar with. 

I auditioned for SYTYCD CAN this summer with my good friend Heather. And failed miserably. In front of a full audience of people who were better dancers then I was, and who had better bodies then I did. 

It's a trip. 

So seeing a friend make it so far on the show, only to get cut right before the top twenty, it opens up a wound. 

Watching the show today was oddly terrifying. It was like being back in that theatre, with the thousands of eyes peering down on you. It's stressful, and I don't even know why. Well I didn't until my friend looked over and said, "Maybe it's post traumatic stress"... and I realized, that's probably exactly what it is. Weird isn't it? 

As for next year: I'm wondering if I even have the strength to do it again. Especially after watching the hoops you have to jump through after the initial audition. I don't care about being on the show. But just once, I'd like to get a call back. That would be great. 

So I go back to my previous posts on this topic: I know I can dance. I don't need some show to tell me I'm the best in the country (That would be great mind you) But as of right now, they can head out. I got school. I got new friends and a horrible job that I despise. So that part could improve. 

On the bright side, I did get back on stage for my first audition I've done in years (The last being for the play the ends of the earth) with SOS last night, and I think things went well. Being back on stage is refreshing. It's almost like a little part of me is coming back to life again. I'm definitely looking forward to that. Maybe my theatre dream isn't dead yet. 

Things change so fast

One hour ago: Me and Cheryl were watching a movie in Tom Hanrahan's film class. MY GOD are these movies borring. 

One month ago: I was contemplating going to school again. I threw the documents together that i needed, and bam, here I am.

Three months ago: I was in Toronto, trying to make it as an actor.

One Year Ago: I was working at Magic Kettle as a waiter. I was getting ready to premiere the first show I ever directed, and was hoping for good things. My book was just being published, and I couldn't wait to get it out in the public. 

Two years ago: I was entering my last year of college. Excited at my future prospects and blissfully unaware of what was to come.

Five years ago: I entered my first year of grade twelve at Widdifield. Full of hopes and dreams and everything else that's warm and fuzzy. 

So that's where I've been. You never realize how fast life moves until you look back and realize how just one year can change so much. My book bombed, my play, while it was a huge critical success failed miserably to earn money, and as of right now, I'm still blissfully un-famous. 

The bright side is I really don't care about fame anymore. I'm at the point where as long as I'm happy, I'll get by. Don't get me wrong, I'd love big movie role, the big best seller and the beautiful spouse... but I don't see any reason to rush into it right now.

I got time. I got school to focus on. My friends are here, my family is here, and I'm enjoying my time at Nipissing. I guess what I have to do now is just keep at things. Live one day at a time and all that junk. 

Peace out.

The Magic of Reality

As most know, I have a love/hate relationship with reality TV. 

I LOVE top model. It's a sick sad addiction that I'm not proud of, but hey. I love it. I like to think of it as my retarded puppy. Not everyone understands it, but you still love it despite the fact that it drools in your lap. 

My problem with reality tv is this: I'm not on it. 

I'm a good singer. I'm a good dancer. I could be on Canadian Idol, and I could be on So You Think You Can Dance. I could be on Triple Sensation or America's Next Top Model (provided I went ISIS-style). I can do all this stuff. SO... Why am I so entranced by others doing what I could be doing? 

NOW: Here is my problem with Reality Shows.

Reality shows are a cash cow. For every reality show, there's a new and exciting TV show that could've been made, but wasn't. For every reality show that involves auditions: There are generally several hundred people who audition, and several hundred thousand dreams shattered. The problem is usually: I'm almost always one of them. 

THIS is why I hate reality tv.

Because I'm not on it. 

I'll get back to this later

The Blockbuster Conundrum

So... As most of you know, I work at Blockbuster Video. Or as it's more commonly known to the people who work there:

It's an interesting place to be. It's better then most jobs I guess, but as with any job: It gets old. I started at Blockbuster in March '04, and since then (off and on) I've been there. I've had other jobs, some that have ended well, and some not so well (I'm looking at you GAP!) but through it all, I've had the heartless corporation behind me that is Blockbuster. 

I got the job due to a family connection (Who doesn't these days) And started work eagerly and for the first while it was enjoyable. It was a good time. Like any job, at first it was confusing... but soon transformed into the job.

Now as I said, it's not a bad job. It just has a way of making you crazy. Check ins become boring, long hours on your feet, and for some reason, everyone wants to let you know that they returned the movie.

First off, let me say that just because you said you returned a movie, doesn't mean it will magically appear in the drop box. 

Secondly, late fees do suck. But I didn't make them up. Don't shoot the messenger just because you're too lazy to bring a movie back. 

There are many things about the job that must be experienced to understand the full oxymoronic nature of the business. I guess it's that way with any job really, but for me, that's just Blockbuster. 

However, despite the fact that I claim to hate my job, it's not all bad. I love most of my co-workers, and even those I don't, I can tolerate. And the pay isn't totally bad. (not great, but hey, we'll see what happens when raises come around). The hours are steady, and I do have quite a bit of seniority built up by now. My boss seems especially gifted at putting up with me... I make it sound worse then it actually is mainly due to the fact that there are some of those people who make you want to kill someone. Or more specifically: Them. Where you can just jump over the counter and beat them until they're as dead as post-superbowl Janet's career. 

Hey, does anyone remember the band B44? Me neither. 

So... my Art Fundamentals Prof came into the store tonight. The woman is pure delight. I love her already. It's going to be a great class, and I'm really excited for Monday. I'm really loving being at Nip. I'm actually feeling challenged for once, and it's great to be back in an academic atmosphere. It's exactly what I needed right now... Now to fix this whole "Lots of homework" Situation. 

?

Is it wrong that I'm beginning to love Myley Cyrus? If only for her one song "See you again." This song was played at EVERY bar in Toronto and is really good. I'll talk about her soon enough. 

CIAO

"HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE A FEELING..."

I used to love Kylie Minogue. I really did. The woman is hot, talented, hot, sexy and hot. Her fashion is hot. You remember that video with the pylon heads? Where you just can't get that song out of your head? Yeah... That's hot. 

Is it just me or could this woman out slut everyone on Top Model? 

Who's watching this season? As if Isis got the boot so early. That chick was fierce. I use the term chick loosely. Obviously. But come on Isis. Really? That was the best you could do? I mean seriously. I have a penis too. It's not that hard to model around. 

"This guy's like Ghandi, but better. He likes Puppets" 

-Forgetting Sarah Marshall

SO... I'm back in school. Nipissing is awesome so far. I love being back in school. It's so refreshing. After feeling so stuck for so long, it's nice to be free. It's like a weight has been lifted  and I'm just chilling around.  

Oh wait... 

Now that that's over with, let me start by saying I will not be ending my youtube right now. Although I haven't been on it in a while. I'll try to get this up to snuff, and update at least twice a week. 

So please... hold me accountable. :) 

EXPECT Many topics about Top Model. Expect many topics about school. And Blockbuster. And God. Not necessarily in that order mind you. Don't expect this to be the only topic. I'm looking at this blog more as a fantastic chronology of how fabulous everything is. DEAL WITH IT. now.

I love the fact that I don't have to use proper grammar. 

So yeah... This is me in a nutshell. So far. You'll uncover more as time goes on. 

"Those are completely conflicting ideologies, and that does not make you a citizen of the planet. That just makes you full of shit." -Kristen Bell in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

BLOCKBUSTER REPORT: 

MY TOP THREE:

1) Forgetting Sarah Marshall * * * *

2) IRON MAN * * * *

3) BIGGER, STRONGER, FASTER * * *